I was talking to Pat the other day and the subject of my sizable debt came up. Debt used to trouble me. I did everything I could to stay debt-free, and was successful until this year. For some reason though, I stopped caring about money. “You must be really happy”, he said, “if something that big doesn’t bother you anymore”.

It was true, but I never realized it until then. All the good things in life have easily outweighed the bad. There isn’t a single thing that I can point to and explain why, but it’s happened — gradually, progressively — over the course of the last year or so. I’ve become very comfortable with myself. I’m happy with who I am. The confidence I’ve gained, my luck in meeting Bronwen, the resolution of the situation with my mom have all contributed I’m sure. The small things don’t bother me anymore, and almost everything is a small thing. I still lose sight of the big picture every now and then and get in one of my moods, but they don’t last as long as they used to.

Now a new design.

I’ve had my own site since 1996, and looking back on all the different versions (around two dozen in all) I realize that they’ve all been dark — less than 30% grey. I used to be a dark person, and the designs were a reflection of this.

This new design serves two purposes. Metaphorically, the light grey (93%) represents my feeling of mirth. Technically, through various tweaking, I can take advantage of different design elements, such as strong (these were links in the last iteration) and emphasis. I also wanted to go back to the traditional underlined links, with a slight hover flourish. Pixel icons have been updated for extra playfulness. Also added is a colophon in the About section.

Not a complete layout change — really, it’s mostly colour — but probably the most drastic change I’ve ever made to the site.

And it fits perfectly with how I feel.