Quotes from ‘Meet an Inmate’
Date: March 2, 2008
What better way to celebrate my site’s redesign than to give you prisoners? The following are actual quotes from the very questionable website Meet an Inmate. It’s like most dating sites, in that all the cheesy pickup lines and over the top descriptions apply; however, add the “doin’ time factor,” and you’ve got a real gem. Enjoy. Perhaps even meet Mr. or Mrs. Right…
Gregory writes:
“I’ve lived all over the United State, California, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Arizona and when I finish my business in Florida, I hope to locate in Tennessee. My brothers and I have from time to time met there for a reunion during the summer. I remember having great fun and what a beautiful state. I like the Crooksville area.”
Robyn writes:
“I am a conservative Republican, fun loving, sexy, former Miss Teen Texas.”
Cynthia writes:
“I was thrown out of school my first day of kindergarten because I wore a dress with no panties.”
Gerald writes:
“I have a song in my heart, so listen to my melody. Am I looking for wedding bells so purely? Yes when I find my best friend, and then I’ll surrender my most deepest thoughts as eagerly as the dry land offers itself to the storm, as she will then open the door to her heart to a man who has been kept waiting too long, I’ll enter slowly filling her generously, thoughtfully, and considerately with love.”
Murray writes:
“Looking for a good woman with space in her garage.”
Ryan writes:
“Oh yeah, be sure you know - you have what it takes to have me, if you’re not beautiful, full of life, and or thoughtful please don’t write me! I hope you take my bluntness for realness! Yeah I know I’m no Hollywood perfect, though pick me, pick me (smile), cuz I promise to be your absolute everything if we connect!?”
Christie writes:
I am strong willed but a helpless romantic.
Na’im writes:
“Having been incarcerated for 30 years, I am intensely involved in understanding the apparent social norms which has evolved into the wide acceptance of abberebt social behavior.”
Timothy writes:
“Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. However, any Woman would admit that: ‘A Good Man’ is her favorite Jewel!!!”
Shannon writes:
“I’ve been a nurse, a waitress, and an exotic entertainer in my past. And out of three the only profession I might consider getting back into is nursing.” (You’ll get why this is funny, when you see the picture.)
Tevin writes:
“When I hugged her - it was one of the hardest decisions of my life to let go! Hopefully I’ll say that about you one day.”
Lori writes:
“I have a 36DD-24-36 figure. I hope you like my photo and you want to write me too?”
I’m sorely disappointed to find that there’s not the usual “success stories” or “testimonials” page, as found on other dating websites.
Also, if you get tired of reading the personals on that site, don’t fret. There’s also Convict Mailbag, a site that specializes in “pen pals for lonely prisoners.” Many of them are looking for real-ationships. Check out lonely prisoner Masta Pierre Crawford (yes, you read that name right), for instance, a guy permanently in the pin for homicide. I suspect true love is just around the corner for everyone involved.
God, I love the Internet.
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Comments ordered from oldest to newest.
Kav P
March 2, 2008 at 10:08 pm
What would be be funnier about “Masta Crawford” would be if his surname were “Bates”. :|
