August 25th, 2008 @ 7:03 am by: Marc
70 Things To Do Before Having Children
They say having children changes everything. While it’s unquestionably a remarkable time in one’s life, I can also see how the transition introduces obvious limitations. Suddenly you have dependent beings of life to care for. Responsibility kicks in, compelling you to dedicate a significant portion of your time and attention to the best interests of the little ones. Combine this with the obvious physical and lifestyle limitations that come with age and it seems to me that there are several activities to check off the bucket list
Here’s our list of 70 things to do before having children. For us, it’s simply about conquering as many life experiences as possible. We’re not quite there yet, but we’re getting closer. 
- Live in a high rise condo with an amazing view.
- Take a month long vacation on the opposite side of the world in a city with a completely different culture.
- Attend the Super Bowl live.
- Jump out of a perfectly good airplane.
- Make love in places you aren’t supposed to.
- Swim with the sharks.
- Scuba-dive to a large ship wreck.
- Audition to be on TV or in a movie… even if you’re just an extra.
- Throw the house party of all house parties. Supply all the booze and invite everyone you know.
- Take sexy photos of yourself (keep them somewhere safe).
- Learn to fly a plane.
- Become skilled with a musical instrument.
- Live in southern California for at least a year.
- Live in the heart of New York City, Chicago, Boston or another major city for at least a year.
- Spend a few weeks vacationing on the beaches of Kauai with your partner.
- Surf a Hawaiian wave.
- Learn to speak a foreign language.
- Visit the North Pole.
- Attend The Tonight Show or The Late Show as an audience member.
- Read at least 30 books.
- Jump off a cliff into a natural body of water in an exotic location.
- Go mountain climbing.
- Go deep sea fishing and learn to filet and cook your own fish.
- Go horseback riding on the beach with your partner.
- Drink warm beer out of a barrel in a real Irish pub.
- Spend a night pub-hopping in London.
- Stage dive and crowd surf at a rock concert.
- Take a set amount of money and hit the Blackjack and Craps tables in Las Vegas.
- Visit a high-end Las Vegas strip club.
- Embark on a month-long road trip across the country with 3 of your best friends.
- Ride a camel across a sandy desert.
- Go white water rafting.
- Go snowboarding in the Rockies.
- Get in great shape and enter some kind of fitness competition.
- Attain a solid understanding of how the government works in your country.
- Master one particular style of dance.
- Fall in love.
- Write a book… even if it’s short and never gets published.
- Drive through a (somewhat safe) portion of a third world country like Mexico or Costa Rica to gain perspective on what true poverty looks like.
- Go skinny dipping in a large body of water at midnight.
- Take a shower under a waterfall.
- Decide on your current life goals and write them down.
- Spend New Years Eve in Times Square.
- Go on a blind date (or a couple’s dinner date with new friends you hardly know).
- Sleep on the beach under the stars in Key West.
- Hit up Oktoberfest in Munich.
- Hit up Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
- Hit up Carnival in Rio de Janeiro.
- Experience Spring Break in all its glory in Cancun, Mexico or Panama City Beach, Florida.
- Catch a ride in a hot air balloon.
- Rent a fast sports car and speed down the Autobahn.
- Switch jobs until you find one you truly enjoy.
- Buy your first house.
- Own a convertible sports car.
- Hike the Grand Canyon.
- Attend a Red Sox vs. Yankees game in Fenway Park.
- Spend a whole day making love without every leaving the house.
- Learn to make one mixed cocktail like a pro bartender.
- Run a marathon.
- Stand up in front of a large audience and tell a great joke.
- Shoot a gun.
- Swim across the English Channel.
- Bicycle ride down a mountain road.
- Learn to sail a sailboat.
- Learn the basics of a martial art.
- Visit the Amazon Rainforest.
- Bare all on a nude beach.
- Master one really cool magic trick.
- Master a few fancy dinner recipes.
- Finish up your formal education (but continue learning).
What’s on your list?
Photo by: Dawvon
If you enjoyed this article, please subscribe to our RSS feed.
Or subscribe via email.
104 Comments
August 25th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Maybe I am jaded because I already have kids. But a lot of these things can get done while you have children, they are just more complicated!
Kids should be viewed as part of the “journey” of life and not as a hindrance to things you want to get done. Because if you look at it that way, people would never have kids (and it is kind of a selfish viewpoint).
On the flip side, it is important to set and achieve your goals, regardless of children.
Anyway, this is a good “bucket list”!
August 25th, 2008 at 9:34 am
I recommend this one very highly:
Take a month long vacation on the opposite side of the world in a city with a completely different culture.
I spent 3 weeks in Vietnam and it was one of the most life-changing times of my life. You realise there is so much more to the world than wherever you are now.
Great list guys, submitted to stumbleupon!
Cheers,
Glen
August 25th, 2008 at 9:52 am
@Dave: Our stand on this issue deals with exactly what you stated… Once you have kids, life is a bit more complicated. Many of these things could be achieved after having children, but we feel it’s much easier to acomplish them ahead of time.
@Glen: Thanks Glen!
August 25th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I haven’t done half this stuff and I already have kids. What should I do now? I know! Do it anyway! Take the little buggers along for the ride.
August 25th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Talk to your friends, enjoy to speak a whole sentence until its end, spend time with your friends, phone as long as you can. These things are IMPOSSIBLE with kids.
August 25th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Ok all these things SOUND great, and SOME of them are free, but the vast majority involve 2 things that I do not have in abundance, that is money and time.
It must be great for people who live in ivory towers to suggest such lofty things, but get real, unless daddy is rich and is willing to foot the bill the bill, the harse reality is you get a job you hate, a girl you settle on, and rent to pay every goddamn month. Buy a house? are you freakin’ kidding me?
August 25th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Thanks for the list really cool stuff on there!
Living in california is one of my many goals for the next few years…..
August 25th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
@Steve Olson: If you have kids already… go for it!
They may slow ya down a little, but it’ll be worth the extra effort.
@sevenjobs: LOL!
@dredawg: That’s a pretty negative take on life. Also, mommy and daddy have nothing to do with it. The freedom to travel involves making your own money and budgeting it appropriately.
August 25th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Life doesn’t end when you have kids! I agree that some of these would be irresponsible to do if you were a parent (the life-threatening ones), but I know tons of people who do amazing, fun things as families.
August 25th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Good luck on the list. A lot of these things I would never do with my kids. Like the bare on a nude beach. Then again, I wouldn’t do it without kids either.
August 25th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
@sevenjobs
You forgot to add having an uninterrupted bath; eating food while it is still hot; just browsing in shops….
I didn’t do most of these things before I had kids but I’m working my way through the list and including them as appropriate.
I really believe that children benefit enormously from being immersed in a different culture. My kids have certainly been further afield than I did at their age.
August 25th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Enjoy really loud sex in the middle of the living room!
August 25th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Hey, I did #4 after I had kids - and it was an awesome experience (once I got over the idea of it being a perfectly good airplane).
But I have lots to catch up on if I’m to complete this list - and I’ll have to do it with kids! Do I wish I’d done some of these earlier in life - sure. But, I’m also very happy having these little buggers in my life, and no amount of “I didn’t get to do this…” will ever replace what they mean to me.
So, I’ll continue on - and hopefully get many of these done in my lifetime. It’ll be a great ride, and they may be along for part of it.
Great list, by the way! Several on there sparked an interest for me.
August 25th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
GREAT list! Alas, I’ve done about 2 of them.
And I have 2 young kids, so I won’t be doing more of them anytime soon…
August 25th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Shouldn’t #37 be required? If you aren’t in love (and in my opinion, married) you shouldn’t be having kids.
That being said, as many have mentioned before, the simple things like taking a relaxing shower, going to the movies on a whim or going on quick weekend getaways are some of the things my wife and I miss the most about life pre-baby.
August 25th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Very interesting. I have a squidoo lens on 100 things to do before you die and I have a lot of these on there, although the lens is rated G so there’s obviously some of these that I couldn’t put on there. I think having a bucket list gives you something to look forward to–you get to anticipate checking each item off the list–with or without kids.
August 25th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
ROFLMAO !
Clearly a list from yet another person who doesn’t have kids
Have y’all ever noticed the lists of ’stuff I *should* have done before having kids’ has almost NONE of this on it ?
Clue : these aren’t the things you’ll regret.
You can still do almost ALL of them (it’s *gasp* ok to do some things while Jr is with a sitter !) After Kids, and a good chunk of these have been more fun *with* kids.
Look, either you want kids at some point or not- either way is fine.. but unrealistic lists of years-long projects ? Just say “I don’t want kids, and that’s OK.”
Really. You’ll feel lots better.
August 25th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I guess I won’t be having kids.
August 25th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
I agree that you should attack as many of these as possible prior to having children. However, having kids is not the end of life. I have two daughters and I am still living, loving, and pursuing adventure!
In fact, I’m taking a scuba certification class this weekend. Maybe I’ll get to dive that wreck that you mention in #7 before long.
August 25th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
My husband and I have no kids. We can’t afford even one of these things to do with the economy right now.
August 25th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
@Steve Olson, for god sake don’t take the little buggers on items 5 and 10, else the social will be round…
August 25th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Selfish to not have kids Dave? What a load of bull. Wouldn’t it be more selfish to have kids for the sake of having them? Or because people like you pressure people into having kids because it’s apparently “selfish”? I guess it’s also not selfish to add more people to an already overpopulated planet huh? You want to breed like rabbits you go ahead and do that but for others who DON’T want children, don’t feel the need to vilify them just because you’ve lost your freedom.
August 25th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
haha 71.) Come up with the money to do half of that cool stuff.
but seriously.. great list. I’ll try checking some of these off in a year!
August 25th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
i AM 54 AND I WOULD RETITLE THIS LIST :
70 THINGS TO DO AFTER THE KIDS ARE GROWN.
August 25th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
That’s definitely enough to keep someone busy long enough not to even bother having kids. Though some of those can be done even with kids.
August 25th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Exactly why do children preclude doing any of these things? Also I fail to see how going to a ‘high end’ strip club is any more worthwhile than any strip club - or gambling - why not just buy a bum some booze - at least you’ll have done something positive with the money.
August 25th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
I haven’t done well, hardly any of these, but it’s definitely inspiring! I’m going to run a marathon at some point, and if my husband has his way, we’ll both learn to sail.
I actually enjoyed the audacity of this list. It’s a reminder that for most people, your life experiences are up to you. You just have to stop the excuses and probably sacrifice some other things to make them happen.
August 25th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
good ideas
too bad we aren’t all made of money
August 26th, 2008 at 12:02 am
Well I already have kids, so as Swiper would say “Oh man!” (You probably have to be a parent to get that reference he he…) I did do a few of these things though - eg Oktoberfest. Nice article.
August 26th, 2008 at 12:20 am
Great, now I have a kid you tell me…
Seriously, though, this seems like a generic list. A lot of the things on this list I wouldn’t even *want* to do, and the vast majority are perfectly possible even with young children in tow. I think the list should be modified to simply “things to do while you’re still young”. Then a lot of these things are possible right into old age. I guess the only good title for this list really is: Things you should do (if these are the sorts of things that would appeal to you). For the record, though I didn’t think I had accomplished too much in my life yet, I have managed fifteen of the items on the list, and more than a couple of those things I have done since having my daughter.
August 26th, 2008 at 5:41 am
#13 should read “Live in” as opposed to “Live is”
August 26th, 2008 at 7:44 am
I’ve done 19 of these. And I’ve used the same picture:) Nice post! I’ll do a few more.
August 26th, 2008 at 9:02 am
I agree with sevenjobs - those things she mentioned are a lot harder to do than some of the 70 on the list!
Still, it’s a good list. I have kids, and we do a number of them now (live in an urban high-rise in a big city), so I know they can be done. But you’re right - getting things done is a bit more challenging with kids.
August 26th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Keep up the good work. I sent this to my 24 year old daughter who is in London pub hoppping, then off to India for 6 months, then planning to move to NY, has already jumped out of a plane and was just in a pub in Ireland. Spent a summer working and climbiing in Yosemite. She also just finished taking the Transmongolian/Transiberian train from Bejing to Moscow via Mongolia which she says was fabulous. Something you could add to your list.
Maybe I’ll make my own list. What to do after the kids leave home, before you get too old!
Laura
August 26th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Well, I have to say, a lot of the things on this list hardly seem like must-dos to me, whether prior to or after having children. Attend the Tonight Show? Go to a Las Vegas strip club? And worst of all, the patronising “drive through a (somewhat safe) part of a third world country…” Drive through a place to look at how people live in penury. You don’t gain perspective on life by driving through third world countries, dear author/s. You really learn to be grateful when you make an effort to help people who are in tough situations, when you volunteer your time, energy, sympathy and if possible money to make their world a better place.
Pretty superficial list.
August 26th, 2008 at 11:38 am
I just recently came across your blog and I’ve been addicted ever since!
I really enjoyed this post. I sent it to my husband at work and asked him when we could get started on it : ) Of course we already have two little ones but I think we could still manage to do some of the stuff. The rest will just have to wait a few years!
August 26th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
It’s a nice list, but many can and should be done with your children. Why not show your children how to live with more life, more culture, and less fear.
I would add two to the list:
-Become mature enough to have children. In other words, have a plan for a happy family. The little rug rats need a good home and a good example to follow.
-Be financially stable to the point where you and your children have options for a full life that is rich with experiences.
One item on the list reminded me of something I did when I was in Thailand on a business trip. I was asked by a nightclub singer to sing on stage with her band - not a bouncing ball Karaoke thing, but just a band behind you and a microphone in your hand.
I sang two American songs, Desperado and San Francisco. I must have done rather well because the nightclub singer left the stage and sat down with her friends at a table during my performances.
What made me take the stage was knowing that if I didn’t seize the opportunity to sing with the band at this nice Thai nightclub, then I would regret it all the way back home on the plane.
Now, wouldn’t something like that be a great thing for your kids to see?
Clair
August 26th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
@All: Thanks for keeping the discussion alive. Some of you have brought up some great points, in addition to making wise additions to the list.
@Everyone who says these things can be done even with children: For the most part, I completely agree. If you have kids, I hope you would still get out there and bring the little ones along for the ride. You probably wouldn’t want to hit the risqué bullet points on our list, but I’m sure you have a list of your own anyways. We don’t have children yet, so we are trying to knock off most of these now.
@Everyone who is against my Vegas bullet points: Like I stated earlier, it’s all about life experiences for us. I think true wisdom is the byproduct of life experience. Angel and I attended the Vegas trip together… and she was equally as curious as I was. It was interesting.
@Everyone who said the list is flawed: It’s our list, not yours. It should be somewhat flawed in the eyes of others. I’m sure you have a list of your own that makes a lot more sense to you. Feel free to share your thoughts. I find them to be quite interesting.
August 26th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Great article. Surfed in from Blogrush. “Swim with the sharks” has so many metaphorical meanings does it not? Thanks.
August 26th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Thanks for this list. It’s a great one - your own! I think the coolest thing about it is that it exists, whatever’s on it.
*Before* I had kids I was rather focussed on the next step: *having* kids. Fortunately we did a few little jaunts before diving right in, but we didn’t sit down & say “hey we should do (a), (b), & (c) before we’re weighted down a little heavier”.
I don’t regret any of it, and many of the things that might have been on my list *are* still possible (as many have said) with our kids, but with my 20/20 hind sight, it would have been nice to *really* relish that time with my dh.
As it is, we really *REALLY* relish those sleepovers to grandma & grandpa’s!
(li’l bit o’ #5, sometimes #9, #57, and always some #37 - all over… as well as completing sentences; picking up toys in a room and have the floor still clear when you turn around!)
August 26th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Great list, I’ve done 31 of them after having kids though and over 50 of them total. I don’t think people should limit themselves due to children. They have inspired me to do alot of these things and I hope to share many of these experiences with them as they get older. You should make a new list titled “Things you should experience with your children” lol.
August 27th, 2008 at 2:32 am
Could add about 25% of your list to mine or I should say I already have 25% of your list on mine, a few I have already done, but swimming with sharks No Way!
-Tabs
August 27th, 2008 at 9:28 am
[…] 70 Things To Do Before Having Children at Marc and Angel Hack Life […]
August 27th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
This is a nice article and a nice list, but I think the majority of things on it can’t be done by the average person on an average budget! I know it’s your own list; perhaps I’m just jealous because I’m knee-deep in college loans! : /
In any case, these seem like lovely things to do before I have children - I just wish I had the means!
Thanks for posting : )
August 27th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Yes, go ahead and risk your lives -before- you have children. Better chance that my genetic material outlasts yours.
August 27th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
#16 Surf a Hawaiian wave.
is now on my list.
Great list! I’ve got one…
71 Meditate with a monk on an overlook in the Tibetan mountains.
August 28th, 2008 at 2:01 am
Yeah, you need a very, very large amount of money, and lots of time to do this. The average age of couples having children is 29, so I suppose you’d better be rich or live off mommy and daddy. Shame most of us live in reality.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:03 am
I think the overall feeling I get as a parent, and maybe other previous commenters do, too, is a general feeling of an idea that life is over when kids come around. Sort-of a “soak it up while you can, because you won’t have any more fun once kids are in the picture.” Not just from this post - from the culture at large these days.
I agree with you - it’s your list, so it’s not the universal list for everybody. And thank you for saying that. But I have to say, I guessed before I was even done reading your post that you guys didn’t have kids yet, because it just sounds like it. Ya know?
I’ve done about 10 on your list (and most after I had kids). But if I had to choose finishing my list of must-dos and having kids, I’d choose having kids, hands down. Life doesn’t end when they arrive - a new sort of life starts.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:55 am
Not only would it take years to do all these things, it would also cost a lot of money, which takes even more time to make (in an honest way, at least)…
I’m guessing if I’d have wanted to get these things done before I had children, it would have been too late to experience the most awsome, breathtaking experience of all: becoming and being a mom!
August 28th, 2008 at 9:11 am
A few of these will actually prepare you for parenthood, e.g., swimming with sharks, and spending New Years in Times Square. Learning martial arts might prove helpful as well….
August 28th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
It’s definitely important to construct your own kind of list. I personally am “childfree,” which means I plan to never have children. I must say I do agree with one poster who said that you should be mature and financially responsible before you have kids. If this truly is a list for people who intend to one day have children, rather than a list for people who never will, then those two items are absolutely essential. Parenthood is not something that should be stepped into lightly, as it so often is.
August 28th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
#71. have unprotected sex xD
August 28th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Honestly, tired of all these USA-centric lists… Outside the US nobody really cares about baseball, the Rockies, Vegas, California, New Orleans, Times Square, Super Bowl, Spring break or whatever the american referenced imagery you use here…
I think that the list gets better with things that really contribute to improvements on your character, like learn an instrument, continue learning, or shower in a waterfall, or just travel
August 28th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
now i realized that the comment is “awaiting moderation”.. i’m almost sure that it won’t make the webpage, i can put my money on that, ehe..
cheers
August 28th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
[…] Check Out This @ Marc and Angel Hack Life! […]
August 29th, 2008 at 8:47 am
I disagree that kids make doing many of these things more complicated. Kids are portable, flexible and resilient. Not to mention, they love “adventure.” Of course, I’ve been a mom since I was 18, so everything I’ve done for the past 17 years has been “with children” whether I liked it or not.
Still, I’ve done quite a few of the things on this list (many don’t interest me at all). My daughter and I learned Japanese together. We’ll be going “to the other side of the world” for a month next year.
Granted, a few of these I’ve done without kids present. But it wasn’t the least bit complicated.
Guess I’ll never understand why so many people feel children are an obstacle to doing what they want most in life. I refuse to For me, my children have been the reason to do those things….and my best cheerleaders. As I am theirs.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:23 am
BETTER YET! NEVER, NEVER EVER, PLEASE NEVER NEVER NEVER HAVE CHILDEREN. It is the end of life, please, do yourself a favor and live. Your animal self no longer has to worry about the survival of the species. Let your instincts flow with the new generation and free yourself from the tyranny of childbirth.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:52 am
hmmm…… We did some of those with our kids. All 3 of them to be exact.
Never slowed us down in the least bit. In fact I think it gave the child’s view of how they felt, saw things.
You know seeing things thru kids eyes again. We took them most places and never felt tied down in the least bit.
Amazing what you can see and learn on vacation. Without the kids knowing they are learning
August 29th, 2008 at 10:27 am
I’ve done these. 24 out of 70 isn’t too bad.
I’ve also got stuff like climb to Everest Base Camp, Kayak the Yangtse from the source before they flood it and drive a motorcycle from Singapore to Ireland…
2 - One year in Thailand
5 - (Like in the back of a VW?)
8 - I was Blackbeard the Pirate
9
10
12 - I play the Bass and a little guitar
13 - 619, Baby!
17 - Spanish and Thai
21
22
27
37
39
40
41
44
53
57
58
60
61
63
65
69
Fun list!!!
August 29th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
If you had you children young enough, you can do these things after the kids are grown and gone.
I’m 42 and my youngest child is 17. I am not yet too old to do any of this stuff.
I thought about whether I would have had a better life if I had waited to have children and I decided a long time ago that I would rather be “free” in my 40s when my career is established and I have the financial resources to do what I want and the maturity to really appreciate what I do for myself. I don’t think you can really appreciate taking care of you until you have sacrificed for others, whether they be your children or not.
August 29th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
It sounds like you’re not interested in having kids. A list like this will take a typical person a lifetime to complete.
I envy anyone who can accomplish everything on this list, but as a parent my biggest regret is not getting started earlier even though the situation may not have been perfect. It isn’t now, and probably never will be, but I love being a dad…
August 30th, 2008 at 12:29 am
Having kids is not the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a whole new life, full of more experiences, happiness and perspective than you could ever possibly get from completing everything on that list.
August 30th, 2008 at 9:02 am
[…] 70 Things To Do Before Having Children The Simple Benefits of […]
August 30th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
“Spend a whole day making love without every leaving the house.”
Well, shouldn’t this be at the end of the list to make sure you don’t have kids before accomplishing the rest?
This list is kind of lame. Owning a specific car?!?! Ummm yeah not everyone likes cars, nor will owning one make any significant impact on your life experience like reading books or traveling would.
I do agree with telling a joke in front of a crowd. Stand-up comedy is a huge rush.
August 30th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Wow, I wonder how many millions of dollars(and months of unpaid unemployment) it would take to complete about half these things?
Is “travel the world” really a unique, insightful, or even possible suggestion for anyone who isn’t Bill Gates?
August 30th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
good ideas! it is a shame though, that you need a lot of money to do half of them
August 31st, 2008 at 1:50 am
#20: Read at least 30 books.
If the number was “1000 books” it would be a challenge worthy of your list, but THIRTY? When I was done with my whopping 30 books and ready for marriage, what sort of person would find me interesting for that accomplishment???
August 31st, 2008 at 6:03 am
[…] 70 Things To Do Before Having Children :: Marc and Angel Hack Life (head here for some mild controversy) […]
August 31st, 2008 at 8:52 am
I agree that this is a “made of money” list but the basic ideas are good (i.e. you should jump off a cliff into some water, but it’s okay if it is at a lake two hours from your house and not in some exotic country).
And you can do SO much of this post-kiddos.
This discussion has also reminded me why I enjoy some parenting blogs (Simple mom) and not other blogs (livsimple). While Simple mom might be a Christian it I never feel judged by comments like “you should be married before you have kids.” That statement when applied to someone other than yourself and your personal choices is hurtful and, in my opinion, not even true. You do not have to be married before you have children to have a happy family. Some people (gay, lesbian) cannot even get married.
That being said if I would enjoy living a life where your family is not constantly judged before you have children (in my case, little bastard children born out of wedlock).
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:01 am
[…] at Marc and Angel Hack Life, they posted an article titled 70 Things To Do Before Having Children. This inspired me to create my own list. I agree that it is often easier to do some […]
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:14 pm
I think a lot of people are misunderstanding the true purpose of this list. In my opinion, this list is some ideas of what you might want to try before you have kids. Not because you can’t do them when you have kids (you can), but because you will want to take the time and money (things which are often much rarer after kids) to do things for yourself (how often does that happen with kids…haha). Lists like this are meant to be modified…okay, so you can’t afford the house…or a month in another country…find something else unique that you’ve always wanted to do, and do it! Because really, who knows when the opportunity to try things will come along again! You are only young once…and you may as well do as much as you can before you don’t want to anymore!
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:28 pm
The thing about these kind of lists, is that everyone should find their own path in life and not feel like they “should” go to a football game, or shoot a gun, or whatever else. For me personally, one of the first things I ever knew I wanted to do in life was to have kids. Not because somebody said I should, but because I thought it would be right for me. And it was. And yes, some of my “freedom” is limited, at least for the time being. But there is not one item on that list I would consider for even a second to be worth giving up my current life for.
September 3rd, 2008 at 1:27 am
I like your concept of the ‘pre-children bucket list’, but do have my reservations…
What about having an aspirational list which would have just 1 point to tick off… and that would be ‘to achieve a place of fulfilment to not need a bucket list’…
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:01 am
[…] and Angel gave us 70 Things to Do Before Having Children (I’m interested in #64 right now…) while My Super-Charged Life responded with 70 Great […]
September 4th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
what a wild list (of things to do BEFORE you have kids)! maybe i’m doing it all wrong (i have 2 kids; 14 and 12) but apart from a few dislikes, we have done and keep doing loads of these.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
So I counted and have done 48 of those 70 that you posted… though you have to allow for a few minor changes: I ran a half-marathon, I watched the Yankees and Sox in Brooklyn, etc… I am now 36 years old and about to be married for the second time, and hope you understand that marriage should not be hindrance to your list, rather a way to embellish it… add new adventures
Good luck! -M
September 5th, 2008 at 7:11 am
[…] 70 Things to Do Before Having Children. Yes, some of these can be done with kids, but if you have the chance to get some adventures behind you before kids enter the picture, take advantage. […]
September 6th, 2008 at 6:07 am
[…] 70 Things to Do Before Having Children :: Marc and Angel Hack […]
September 6th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
ive done 9 things on this list, and im not even in college yet so i guess i have a preeetty good start
September 6th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
I have to agree with those who have said it would cost a great deal of money and require a great amount of freedom to accomplish most of the things on this list, with kids or without. No matter how hard I work or how much I budget, I doubt I could do over half of these things until I retire at the earliest. I think it is a good list for people who can afford to do the things on it, but I think you can probably do just as many with kids as without.
September 7th, 2008 at 2:59 am
There are a lot of things on that list I don’t think are all that important and many that I think are.
I’m a rural Alaskan. While I lived in various places during college and after, I don’t ever have any desire to live in New York City or southern California for a year. I’d rather live in middle of nowhere Wyoming or something. I’m also never going to run a marathon because it’s something I have absolutely no desire to do. Each person has to come up with their own list.
But all in all life is short, and so’s the time in which a woman is fertile (the first big decline is at 28 or so). I’m finishing up my graduate education now and if I wait to have kids until after I get a chance to live Africa, buy a house, and bike a century, it could be too late to have children without adopting or spending gobs of money on assisted reproduction.
It’s important to enjoy at least a few years of your adult life and time as a couple before bringing kids into the picture, but there’s no reason you can’t live your life and do exciting things after kids come along.
September 7th, 2008 at 3:14 am
Why does this culture think that life ends when you have kids?
September 7th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Now I know why I was always the youngest parent in my kid’s school meetings. People think you need to do this stuff before you have kids. Wrong idea. You don’t have the money when you are young. So if you try to do some of these (cheaper ones) and then have kids because of the biology/age issue, you end up old when your kids are out of the nest. Then you are too old to enjoy all these things.
So do some and have kids before you are 30. Be poor and enjoy less expensive fun things when the kids are little (remember they sleep early and soundly so some of this list is “do-able” when they are babies.)
Our kids are in college now and we are still young enough (mentally and physically) to do all the things we couldn’t do when we had no money before they were born. When they are gone from the nest, we pick up where we left off on the list.
As for # 30 (Embark on a month-long road trip across the country with 3 of your best friends) we did this three times, and the three best friends were our children.
September 7th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Yes, it’s all good, but the title should be amended.
It should read “70 Things To Do Before Having Children… if you’re American”. These choices are hopelessly USA-centric and involve enormous amounts of money and resources for “fun” stuff. Also, there is the assumption that one should have children… a child born in the US will have 900 times more environmental impact than one born in Bangladesh. This list is mostly irresponsible self-aggrandized USA idiocy.. (”Learn To Fly A Plane”…?). We do not live in that world any more. The internet is now international and you are just embarrassing yourself with your lack of sensitivity.
September 7th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I highly recommend #67 “Bare all on a nude beach.” If you are in Europe nude beaches are very common in France and Spain.
It is lots of fun and sensual nude sunbathing with the warm sun carressing your body. And swimming without a wet bathing suit is heavenly.
If you are an American, we are more afraid of the sight of a naked body. It will be easier to find a nice nudist resort than a nude beach in the US.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Before I read your list, I made a mental note of my own list. The top two — which probably really means there’s no need for any more — are “Love Life” and “Do What You Love.”
With those on your list, the circumstances are irrelevant — children, no children, or any other conditions. Also, the specific activities matter less. It is the passion, the loving, that matters.
It’s great to share our lists!
September 10th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
I must say that I agree with the statement that life ends when you have kids. I have many friends who all have kids, and all they ever do are change stinky diapers, attempt to spoon food into their screaming kids’ mouths, run after their kids all day, etc. I’m 25 years old and instead of running out and getting married/pregnant when I graduated high school or college, I traveled extensively, (which I paid for, NOT my parents) all over the world. My friends who know about what I’ve done since high school have told me they’re jealous, because I can still have kids…but they can never have the carefree travel days I had. I’ve celebrated my 20s, pursued my dreams, etc. I’m with a wonderful guy right now and we plan on getting married, but we don’t plan on having kids for another couple of years. There is NOTHING wrong with waiting to have children. It’s an archaic way of thinking that we should throw away our 20s to continue the species. (There are too many people as it is.) People rush into marriage and pregnancy far too much these days. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my freedom and relished in the fact that I have gotten to complete many of the items on this list. I don’t get why society tells us that the best thing one can possibly do is have kids. That’s an extremely silly and old-fashioned way of thinking. Sure, I suppose you could do a couple things on the list with kids—but trust me, it would NOT be the same. I have a friend who’s only 18 and just found out she’s pregnant. She’s so excited. It’s like, why are you so excited?! Your life is OVER as you know it. And you didn’t even get to experience some of the best years of your life. What a shame. It’s not 1942 anymore. We don’t have to have children right out of high school. Ugh. Most people MY age aren’t nearly mature enough to get married, let alone have a kid. SLOW DOWN, for pete’s sake. There’s PLENTY of time for kids and family. Enjoy yourself while you can; make time for YOU. When the kids come along, there will be no more of that…
September 13th, 2008 at 10:46 am
done most of them. now what?
September 15th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
It is precisely because my parents didn’t let having children stop them from doing things that I have already completed about half of that list.
When I turned 8 I joined the scouting movement as a cub and my Dad joined with me as a leader. When I turned 11 my mother joined as a scout leader. Taking showers under waterfalls, jumping off cliffs into rivers, riding bicycles down the steep side of mountains, learning to sail and mountain climbing were all completed while in the scouting movement.
What it did for me was instilled in me a desire to experience more of the world than I had already done and I think that’s more important than simply having these experiences yourself. If you save some of these until after you have children then you’ll have something left to teach them.
September 16th, 2008 at 7:59 am
Every time some one raises the issue of having children, it seems we all divide ourselves into two camps. The reality is we all live with our choices and we will never REALLY know if the other choice would have been better for us. To have or not have, to have early or to have late–maybe it doesn’t matter.
I am 47 and never had children by choice. I don’t regret it and I feel I’ve enjoyed my life as much as possible, especially my youth, and I can’t imagine my life any other way, but if I had had children, I’m sure I would not have regretted it either, because I wouldn’t be able to imagine my life without them!
Chica–you have the right idea because you are deciding what you want for yourself and not letting yourself be influenced.
On another subject–why do people love lists so much? I hate lists myself, no offense! Just wondering…
September 18th, 2008 at 1:19 am
21.Jump off a cliff into a natural body of water in an exotic location.
I know a good place in Norway,I would be happy to guide you there..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z6aZHcu3cg
Just bring some swim cloths…
September 18th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I think this should be renamed to 70 Things to Do Before You Die, hehe. On a serious note, I feel that most if not all of these listed here can be done even when you have children. It’s a matter of having the drive to go out and do it and the finances to afford it. But I love the list, especially number 37. There’s a few numbers on this list I’m going to add to my list of things to do this week!
Nice and entertaining post, keep up the good work!
September 19th, 2008 at 2:54 am
I really loved this list, but some of the posts are so negative! I feel really sorry for the people who think you have to have tons of money to travel or that “mommy and daddy” are footing the bill for people that make traveling a priority. I have never had much money, paid for college and grad school myself, and have also traveled the world. But I’ve also never had a fancy new car and don’t buy expensive bags and clothes. It’s ironic that someone will go and spend 20 grand for a new car, but traveling is only for rich people! What a sad, sheltered, money focused life they are living… But then again, who am I to judge, people just have different priorities. But seriously, no excuses! Go travel, you be happy you did!
September 19th, 2008 at 9:59 am
This is a really lively topic! Obviously it was worth posting.
@Chica - you’re 25. That’s why it’s really hard for you to see that life doesn’t end when you have kids. I’m only a few years older than you, but I have a kid, and if my life ends, it’s because I’m not mature enough to know that life doesn’t “happen” to me - I make it happen for myself. Good or bad.
I would AGREE that travel is what you should do before having kids. I will travel with my son, but not in the early days. I did, however, make a promise to myself that he will KNOW this world and will see the people who live in it.
Thanks for posting the list, Marc!
September 20th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
This is great! I think I am past #67 thought. I’ll try the other 69 though.
Thanks for all the hard work and posting this.
September 25th, 2008 at 8:43 am
[…] are active and adventurous. I would encourage every twenty-something to read Marc’s 70 Things To Do Before Having Children and heed his suggestions. Go out there and try new things! Discover as much as you can […]
September 29th, 2008 at 5:57 am
I’m 40, have no children, and I agree with Hillery and OnionUnion. I read your list and for some of the items I found myself shaking my head and asking, “Why?”
I realize different things are important to different people. But honestly, Spring Break? A couple of weeks with a bunch of drunk, drugged, foolish teenagers/college kids all trying to win the title of “Lookit Me! I’m the Most Outrageous!”? What on earth would that do for me?
And why on earth would I want to visit a “high-end” *cough, cough* strip club, whether in Vegas or anywhere else? You don’t have to be a bible thumper to know that exploitation is a sleazy business, and I’ll be damned if I give my money to keep it going.
The whitewater rafting, traveling, and learning entries I agree with completely. But some of the of the other choices I just can’t fathom.
October 1st, 2008 at 8:42 pm
> 70 Things To Do Before Having Children
For most of us, #1 is:
Have sex
October 16th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
My friend sent me this link and I am amazed how similar our lists are.. check out mine
http://magdalenaphoto.com/101/101thingstodobeforeidie.html
I created my list shortly after 9/11 and oddly #1 was completed couple months after.
Keep on checking them off
Mag
October 18th, 2008 at 7:40 am
Good list, Although I wouldn’t consider having children before falling in love! seems a bit pointless:-) I am also hoping to experience most of these things with my children.
X C
November 1st, 2008 at 10:18 am
Chica- Its sad that you think kids are only dirty diapers waiting to be changed. I thought my life was great when I was childless and in my 20’s. Now I have 2 small children and think life is even better and it is fuller than I ever could have imagined. I have traveled all over the world and have had great life experiences, but the best thing about kids is that now I know how to appreciate it all.
Tia- I couldnt agree more.
November 5th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
You missed one: Have a vasectomy! J/K
November 7th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Um, two hints for anyone planning on “51. Rent a fast sports car and speed down the Autobahn.”
First, we locals would appreciate if you did that at night, so that if you lose control of a car you are not familiar with at speeds you (presumably) never reached before, it’s more likely you wrap yourself around a tree rather than crash into a bunch of other cars.
Second, pay at least a bit of attention to the speed limit signs. True, most people drive faster than allowed, just saying that contrary to popular belief outside Germany, in most parts, there are limits, so you might end up with a ticket. And some of these limits are in effect because of damages in the street, dangerous curves, feeding into the first hint.
Well, anyway, have fun.
November 12th, 2008 at 5:30 am
Sleep as much as I could.
Leave a Reply