Perfect Poise, Perfect Life
Bring your body into balance and revolutionise your life
By Noel Kingsley
Publisher Hodder Mobius
AVAILABLE HERE
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Critical of criticism
Constructive criticism can be so helpful, in helping whoever it is directed at to make improvements in their task or activity. Or can it?
The Collins Dictionary has a definition of criticism...."1. The act of making an unfavourable or severe judgement. 2.the analysis or evaluation of a work of art, literature etc."
As a teacher of the Alexander Technique helping people with their posture and performance, every session I give presents situations where constructive criticism may be seen as appropriate. However my personal experience of having received criticism in various forms throughout my life, coupled with my years of Alexander work, in the majority of cases I would rather not offer constructive criticism. but 'observation without judgement'. There is a distinct difference.
Criticism can only be from an individual's perspective. An observation without judgement is also from one person's perspective. However where one is rather attacking and challenging and very judgemental, observation is more of a comment on how it a situation is seen, rather like a mirror giving a reflection. That allows the person on the receiving end to make choices for themselves, to experiment with new ways, to challenge their own ideas and by so doing, their learning is more in-depth.
For some people, criticism can be felt as a put-down. But an non-judgemental observation, where feedback is a comment rather than a judgement, can be far more palatable. Have you ever known anyone improve their performance or skill at something by being told they are doing it wrongly, or they are not very good?
Comparison plays a part in criticism as the person who is doing it no doubt has previous examples or performances or experiences in mind to inform their comment. My experience at drawing with a pen or pencil is very limited and by anyone's view would be seen as very amateurish. (Compared to what?) If we look at cavemen drawings of 100,000 years ago on the walls of ancient cave dwellings, we would could say they are very 'amateurish'! But we would not dream of doing so, as we know these were done by people with no previous experience and they were doing the best they could and now we'd say they are wonderful. But if I drew something in a similar way, they certainly would not be seen as wonderful.
We are all beginners at some time in our lives. If we do our best, no more can be asked or expected. If we do our best.......haven't we done well! Brilliant. The results of our efforts do not need to be of the highest quality to be seen or heard in the world, but if we've done 'our best', then that is just fantastic, no matter how crude, rudimentary or amateurish it could be viewed. Our best is always good enough. OK, we may not win the award, pass an exam (critical analysis of a performance or skill), but in the learning process, our best is .........great. The results of our efforts could look like a dogs dinner or sound like a dying cat, but if we've done our best, then that's great. Well Done!
It can be so tempting to offer criticism if we feel that we may know more than the other person, to 'help them improve'. But what really can spur us on, to give more of ourselves, to give it more of our time, to inspire greater efforts and learning, is to receive congratulations. I do not mean insincere flattery, but honest praise where it's due. For any of us to apply ourselves to anything and 'try' and do a good job at it....as best we can.....as an amateur, beginner, novice or even complete dunce, is a wonderful thing. To apply oneself, is wonderful. Rather than just sitting in front of the TV, and giving our best to something creative, or a new activity is amazing. To develop an interest in something is so....rewarding, involving, meditative, healing, creative and inspiring. I get so inspired by seeing someone attempting to do something for the first time. I feel for them and I'm with them. And I sincerely hope that I can avoid criticising their efforts....even constructively. They don't deserve that. They deserve praise for their efforts, no matter how modest they are. Fantastic. Congratulations.
Offering a mirror to someones efforts in the form of an observation, can give them information that may enable them to make choices about how they may do it again, differently. We learn from observation and experimentation. But our enthusiasm is likely to be far greater if we can make these 'discoveries' for ourselves, rather than being 'criticised'. At least that's the way I see it from my own perspective. You may see it differently. You may like to comment.
I have no wish to be critical of criticism, but It's my belief there are better ways of encouraging the best out of others.
